Dangerous Dutch staircases

A few weeks ago my host family’s washing machine started to break down. They ordered a new one in preparation for the day that the old would definitely not work. A week ago the day came. Laundry was no longer doable. We went to the appliance store and made arrangements for the new washer to be delivered. Friday was the day.

Friday morning the truck arrived, carrying the new washing machine and two able bodied guys to lift it. They carried the old out and the new in. Being the curious person I am I, of course, snuck a peak, but I waited until the two guys were carrying the new machine upstairs. As I watched them carry this thing up I remembered my first encounter with Dutch stairs and realized that I haven’t yet taken the time to describe them to you, oh reader. They were the scariest things that I encountered when I was on my two-week visit to Holland, just over a year ago.

At this point of reading all of my Dutch peoples are thinking, “what’s wrong with our stairs?” And all of the Americans (except for Laurel) are thinking, “they can’t be that bad!” They are, after all, just stairs. Let me explain.

A normal Dutch house has at least three floors (or if you’re Dutch, then it’s only two floors, the bottom being the ground floor…much like the French…no offense meant by the last comparison). So, of course, to get up you must have stairs. But Dutch houses are more tall than wide. They aren’t half as wide as American houses, which is why they are so tall. They have to fit more people on less land area, which means instead of building out they build up. That also means that the stairs have to take up as little room as possible, which they do.

Dutch stairs are steep. No, even steeper than what you just imagined. They are also narrow. And they turn endlessly, never going just up but also going around…and around, and around, and around. There is a railing on one side of the stairs, on the side where the stairs are broader. This is also the side that you are less likely to need a railing on, but it doesn’t fit on the narrow side, so the other side is better than none. On the narrow side of the stairs is where they all meet to a single pole or wooden beam, which helps to support them the whole way up. Actually, that center point is the most important support. (I’ve been in a house that had a staircase that was only supported with the center pole, which the stairs were curving around. I remarked to an inhabitant of the house that I was grateful that I didn’t have to go upstairs because they weren’t secured on the other side…but that is another story.)

(going up)

Now, these stairs are scary for a girl that is used to being on broad staircases. The steep was scary, but the narrow was scarier because then it’s easier to miss the next step, something that I’ve always been prone to do. I was certain my first weeks here that I’d die due to a misstep, and if I didn’t die I would have quite the sore bottom from bumping down the stairs, which are so steep that it is virtually impossible to stop mid-fall. But thankfully, the Lord has spared me so brutal a death, up to this point. I’ve even become sort of a “stair master” (can anyone guess from which movie that quote is?). God has given me the grace to abound…or rather, bound up the stairs two at a time, making up two floors and back down in a matter of 30 seconds. Amazing!

(going down)

There is one good thing about the steepness of the stairs. On days that you’re just feeling way too tired to be walking up one or two flights of stairs you can assist your feet with your hands. That’s right, walking up on hands and feet is a snap, gives you two times the balance and support, increases speed of ascent and decreases the amount of leg muscle usage (very nice if you’ve just ridden too far and too fast on your bicycle).

So, yes, Dutch staircases are very dangerous and interesting. They also serve as entertainment when there are two people trying to drag a washing machine up them. Definitely unforgettable.

Of course, it is wise for me to put a sort of disclaimer at the end of this post. Not all of the Dutch staircases are this scary and crazy, just most of them. Last week I was at a house that had a staircase that went straight up, no curves at all. That was an abnormal experience.